Part 2: Hijacking What It Means to Be Human
(Read Part 1 to learn about mentalists, skeptics and cold reading.)
Imagine my surprise when I discovered there are at least a half-dozen extremely expensive books marketed by mentalists on tarot, of which I’d never heard in my forty-plus years collecting tarot books. And, they were written by and for professional tarot readers that I didn’t even know existed as a self-identified group. Of course, I was aware there are fraudulent tarot readers who deliberately used cold reading techniques to con their marks. Naively, I had assumed, though, that cold reading was used mostly by fake mediums and clairvoyants (as in the 19th century) and by mentalist entertainers. I had no idea that tarot was regularly taught as a scam except among some phone psychics and those storefront psychics who used it to extort money for removing curses, etc.—a whole different, albeit related, enterprise. [Note: some mentalists are also ethical tarot readers, and not all mentalists deny the paranormal. I am also not referring, in most of what follows, to ethical mentalists who are honest about using mental tricks.]
To me, fake tarot readers (who are usually also skeptics) serve as a dark mirror of who we are and what we do. In other words, we can learn a lot about ourselves by fearlessly looking in the mirror and learning about our shadow side. I am just beginning this journey and so I’d appreciate feedback and further information.
Currently, I separate what we do from what they do based on ethics, intent, and assumptions or worldview.
Ethics
The American Tarot Association advocates that tarot readers deeply consider and then formulate their own Code of Ethics to be posted wherever they read. The ATA offers a minimal Code of Ethics that members are expected to adhere and add to. It includes: “I will serve the best interests of my clients, conducting my professional activities without causing or intending to cause harm.” And, “I will represent honestly my Tarot qualifications, including educational credentials, levels of certification, and experience.” Personally, I always tell a client when I am getting information (overt or unintended) from them and not the cards.
In Part 1 we heard from at least one mentalist reader who advocates pretending to be the ‘real thing’: “Who out there is really all that ethical? . . . Either you want to make money and build up a career or you don’t.”
Intent
A true tarot reader wants to help the client by offering perspectives and previously unknown, or known but unconsidered, information that ultimately will serve the client’s well-being and best interests. The intent is to help them alleviate anxiety, achieve desires and find meaning that results in an increased awareness or consciousness. We ask, “How can I be of help to this person; what should I be aware of?” Personally, it is my intention to aid a person in recognizing their own wisdom.
The pseudo tarot reader intends to make money by any means possible. He or she intends for a subject to have confidence in the tarot reader so they can be taken by a “confidence game” – a scam that deliberately exploits that confidence.
Assumptions/Worldview
This is one of the most insidious differences. It can be seen best in the differing views that each group has regarding the person referred to variously as the subject, client, or querent.
As Penny Key explained on The Tarot Connection, “What factors do we see in them [the querent]?—the willingness to see the best they can be, to recognize suffering, to believe in them, to identify depths that others don’t see, to know that they are capable of doing things.” Some readers believe the querent has all the knowledge within him or herself and is seeking assistance in clarifying goals and recognizing alternative options. Such readers believe that acceptance emerges as a consequence of knowing the other more directly—that it naturally awakens compassion.
The first thing I noted about the perspective of both the skeptic and mentalist is the assumptions they make about the “subject.” (Don’t believe me—read on the internet their descriptions of the subjects of cold readings.) Subjects are described as compliant and willing, desperate and gullible. Ultimately they are looked down on as blind, weak and helpless victims. Unaware that general statements could apply equally true to others, they can be led to question their beliefs and easily buy into the false beliefs that are offered.
Seeing people this way reduces them to marks or prey who are not really worthy of pity as they’ve brought the deception on themselves. It is this supposed weakness among most of humanity that gives pseudopsychics a mandate to take advantage of them or, in the case of professional skeptics, to protect them, in loco parentis, from their delusions.
The Hijacking of What It Means to Be Human
My next biggest gripe with mentalists and skeptics is their hijacking of a set of ordinary modes of human communication—representative of human beings in social relations with other human beings—and labeling them as deceptive-by-design “cold reading tricks.” It’s assumed they somehow now own and have the right to define these forms of communication according to their own principles. It has gotten to the point that if anyone says they use such a method they are immediately accused of tricking or deceiving the client. If the reader isn’t aware they are “cold reading” then they are, by definition, self-deceptive shut-eye practitioners.
Illustration by Robert Place
As we saw in Part 1, shut-eye readers are those “who believe they actually have some powers—when all they’ve really done is learned how to do cold reading without realizing it.” And we saw that skeptic Timothy Campbell of the Ontario Skeptics Society feels that 99 percent of psychic readers are “eyes-open”—deliberately conning people. However, in my experience that includes personally knowing thousands of tarot readers through forty years of conferences, workshops and reading venues, I would say that, among those I know, the numbers should be flipped, and we can remove the words “when all they’ve really done.”
Ninety-nine percent of readers I know believe they are tapping into some kind of energy or powers (personal and/or spiritual), and they consciously use some communication techniques and unconsciously use others. Admittedly, these are people who are interested in all tarot represents and has to offer—not just the money-making aspects.
The fact is, most tarot readers use many of the supposed “cold reading” techniques (warm reading is simply a subset in which one gains information from the subject), but so do public speakers, good mothers, psychologists, priests and ministers, doctors, etc., etc.
Guild to Cold Reading
Let’s use “Ray Hyman’s 13 Point Guide to Cold Reading”—a shortened version appears in red below. Now imagine these points are describing an accomplished lecturer at a science conference. Google “characteristics/qualities of a good speaker” to find all the points I make below (in black).
1. The key ingredient of a successful character reading is confidence.
A good speaker is confident. If you lack confidence in yourself, the audience will perceive it and lose confidence in you, too.
2. Make creative use of the latest statistical abstracts, polls and surveys.
Be thoroughly prepared and familiar with your material. Do lots of research and learn as much as you can about your subject.
3. Set the stage for your reading. (Be modest; make no excessive claims.)
Arrive early and check out the sound system and introduce yourself to audience members during the networking time. Slightly self-deprecating humor is okay. It’s good to show that you can laugh at yourself.
4. Gain the subject’s cooperation in advance. (Your subject will fit your generalities to his/her specific life circumstances (Barnum Effect). If the reading doesn’t click; it’s the subject’s fault for not making sense of the statements, not yours. You will be credited with much more detail than you actually provided!)
Make sure you talk with, not at, your audience. Speak on a subject that your audience needs to hear. For each major point tell an illustrative story. A good story evokes emotion and offers a lesson. The audience members are then only a step away from their own story.
5. Use a gimmick, such as Tarot cards, crystal ball, palm reading etc. (It lends atmosphere; and manipulating them provides time to think.)
Use visual support to illustrate and clarify difficult points.
6. Have a list of stock phrases at the tip of your tongue. (Use them to start.)
Practice each presentation many times, until you know it cold. Connect with your audience in the first few minutes. Know how to make your opening remarks relate to the material that follows.
7. Keep your eyes open! (Observe everything you can about the person and their reactions.)
Find a few friendly, encouraging faces in the audience and talk to them. Check to see whether they are following you.
8. Use the technique of fishing. (Then feedback what they told you as an assertion.)
Be sure the organization of your talk is clear to the audience. When your audience brings up objections or questions, answer in a spirit of cooperation and appreciation for their point of view.
9. Learn to be a good listener. (They’ll think you were so astute and supportive.)
Make great eye contact. This makes you appear to be more heartfelt and really present for your audience.
10. Dramatise your reading. (Ham it up.)
Be passionate about what you are saying. Try to communicate to the audience your own interest in and enthusiasm for your subject; enthusiasm is contagious! Use words and body language that shows your passion and authenticity.
11. Always give the impression that you know more than you are saying.
Don’t feel the need to tell an audience everything you know.
12. Flatter your subject.
Make each person feel attended to.
13. Remember the Golden Rule – always tell the subject what he/she wants to hear!
Demonstrate how you can provide what your audience needs. Even when you point out how bad their current situation is and how much they need your solution, don’t dwell on the negative. Emphasize the positive. End with an inspiring story and a call to action.
A lot of what we call intuition (as opposed to psi) comes from subliminal clues picked up in normal human interactions including those mentioned above. This is natural.
Intersubjectivity, Empathy and Mirror Neurons
As to the Barnum or Forer Effect, in which a person creates their own meaning out of statements that could apply to anyone, consider this:
The mind strives for relational connection and communication. There is a term called intersubjectivity meaning the sharing of subjective states by two or more people. It is also a theory that everything we know is actually a consensus about knowing and experience—a working agreement that is sometimes taken for objectivity. Intersubjectivity is available to us, in part, through empathy, which involves experiencing another as subject and not just an object. In doing so, one also experiences oneself as seen by the Other, and the world in general as a shared world instead of one that is only available to oneself. 
Neurologically empathy is developed through what are called mirror neurons in the brain. In our infancy mirror neurons are the basis for learning through mimcry. Through them we learn what facial expressions and other forms of non-verbal communication mean. They also have a lot to do with our identifying with others and with our identifying inner experiences with stories.
One thing that happens in a reading is that the stories told about the cards bring to mind images and memories that are currently “up” for us at the moment. Neurological connections have been formed linking them to a current problem or issue. A reading brings symbolically and emotionally linked patterns of connections to the fore. Daniel Goleman, in Emotional Intelligence, tells us that “the logic of the emotional mind is associative; it takes elements that symbolize a reality, or trigger a memory of it, to be the same as that reality.” A good reader can help a person make sense of what is triggered by the images, to see the pattern. A good reader can both support a person’s own insights and offer alternate possibilities for consideration.
Finding Meaning
Tarot readings operate through the discerning of relationships based on perception of likeness, recognition of resemblances in superfically distinct phenomena, and analogical reasoning. While the rational mind looks for cause and effect, the emotional mind looks for indiscriminate connections with similar striking features-often perceived through intuition. Readings involve the perceiving of meaningful patterns, and meaning empowers choices, giving them intent and value. Thus, in a successful reading the querent departs feeling hopeful, self-confident or simply with a better sense of direction in their life. Ironically, this can happen even when it is not the intent of a pseudo reader, because the personal connections made by the querent during the reading have helped them find meaningful patterns and recognize viable choices.
Added: Listen to a podcast interview on this subject with me and Leisa Refalo at The Tarot Connection.
Craig Browning asked me to mention that he offers an insider’s explanation of mentalists and cold reading but you have to join MySpace in order to read it – here.
Mary K. Greer has made tarot her life work. Check here for reports of goings-on in the world of tarot and cartomancy, articles on the history and practice of tarot, and materials on other cartomancy decks. Sorry, I no longer write reviews. Contact me
24 comments
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December 4, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Mark
Dear Mary,
There ARE fake readers whose sole purpose is to just make a buck. But most readers are honest and sincere in their delivery of their services.
Unfortunately, most skeptics assume (and wrongly so) that ALL psychic readers of any type are inherently frauds. But this comes from the intent of the skeptic to only see psi stuff as an ATTEMPT at willful con artistry.
They are only mistaken. But the thing thing that bothers ME the most is that they routinely use the term “fake psychics” as if all psychics were full of intention to defraud others. They (the skeptics) even use the term “phoney psychic reading” as a way to describe readings. However, this blanket use of such terms brainwashes others into believing that it’s a correct term. OUCH.
While I am aware that there are some readers who might not have clinical counseling skills. that doesn’t seem to make the reader any less skilled at reading the cards. Empathy seems to be the key.
Mark
Aurora, CO
December 5, 2008 at 1:10 am
thecupboardunderthestairs
Hi Mary,
One has to feel very sorry for skeptics. On one hand, it seems that half of their experience of the world is missing – on the other, I find it very interesting that they must ‘rally against something’, meaning unconsciously they may well believe there actually IS something much greater than their own egos – there IS something in this whole thing, otherwise, why would they need to refute it so loudly?
Methinks thou protesteth too much …!
I go with the Hermetic axiom of balance. Any person who has to be very ‘for’ or very ‘against’ anything is out of balance I reckon. I’m a tarot reader, and spend NO time at all trying to explain, convert, fight with, or prove anything about what I’m doing to anyone. I don’t care what they think.
I run up against these attitudes all the time, and I simply ignore it. By opening their mouths, these people show me very clearly what’s going on in their heads, and that says far more about them than it does about me (or us, or tarot readers/psychics/clairvoyants).
People are going to have their perceptions of what they THINK we are, which has very little to do with the REALITY of what we are. Like trying to see a three dimensional picture with two dimensional glasses. They can’t see it, so therefore it’s not there (for them).
And I also find it distasteful having to ‘defend’ and ‘prove’ our worth. I simply don’t bother. Thanks for the post – it’s good to see what’s out there – also love this blog of yours – lots of great information. Thanks Mary
Andrea
December 5, 2008 at 5:05 am
Maribeth ("mep")
Mary, thank you so much for this in-depth look at how “cold reading” techniques play into our Tarot work…not as a deliberate deception, but as an organic part of what we do. Fascinating reading…especially the point-by-point comparison of what a good Tarot reader does and what an accomplished (and probably highly paid!) public speaker does.
December 5, 2008 at 7:31 am
Deana
I’ve been thinking about your post since I read it last night. On on the one hand, it’s always good to be skeptical as opposed to gullible. On the other hands, most people who call themselves skeptics aren’t skeptical so much as stridently anti-mystical.
“Cold reading” skills are people skills given a nasty name. We all use “cold reading” skills in our day-to-day lives and we depend on them when we make decisions about people.
Last year I pulled into a gas station and saw a man with a gun in his hand walking inside. Based on nothing other than a “cold reading” of the situation, I got my kids out of there and called 911 immediately. I was transferred to the police, who were very interested in my “cold reading” of the situation and who didn’t care at all that it didn’t take “actual psychic skills” to figure out that someone was about to do something bad.
The set of skills (body language, etc.) that get labeled “cold reading” are actual, useful, psychological skills that you would use as not only a Tarot reader, but a teacher, psychologist, police officer, lawyer. You use these skills to decide whether to make friends with someone, whether to say yes to a date, and whether to rent your house to someone.
December 5, 2008 at 8:14 pm
mkg
Mark –
Empathy does not seem to be something much valued by the pseudo-skeptics (those that simply deny rather than doubt & investigate).
Andrea –
I agree that balance is important. I hope we as tarot readers can begin to acknowledge and discuss more of a range of the skills we need – some of which have been pointed out by both skeptics and mentalists.
Maribeth –
I like the concept of it all being part of the “organic” whole that we are.
Deana –
I love your definition of cold reading skills as “people skills given a nasty name.” Can I use that? Gavin de Becker’s book Gift of Fear delineates precisely the kind of situation you describe. It’s one of the best books on intuition out there.
December 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Pedro Ribeiro
Ah, pseudoskeptics…
I would like to share a very special link:
http://www.geocities.com/wwu777us/Debunking_Skeptical_Arguments.htm
I’ll love it.
December 7, 2008 at 6:54 pm
mkg
Pedro –
Thanks for the link. It’s a very interesting resource with lots of good material plus links to even more.
December 8, 2008 at 3:38 am
Pedro Ribeiro
I had a lot of frustrating discussions with “skeptic” professors in college about the paranormal and religion, and it always seemed that they were not really listening. Wu’s articles were very enlightening about the general dishonesty and procedures. Real skeptics are not really so aggressive about their ideas; most of time they don’t really care about paranormal to deeply study it, but they don’t go out of their way to “enlighten” everybody about the dangers of homeopathy or Tarot.
December 9, 2008 at 6:14 pm
David Alan Richards
It’s funny how anywhere else I’d be getting credit for being a sensitive person, but skeptics are sticking the knife of apparent fraud in, because during tarot readings as in the rest of my life, I notice people.
I suppose that if you’d have to have only machines do tarot readings to attempt to win them over, but I don’t know why anyone would be compelled to spend money for a machine tarot reading. Something about an individual person reading for an individual person gives the preceedings the warm glow of humanity.
I guess it’s good there are skeptics around we’d all get in trouble if there was no one to accent the left side of the brain.Scientific Enlightment was understandable as reaction to magicial thinkers abusing political power. It’s just that sometimes skeptics seem ridiculously petty and boring and sensible as old shoes, particularly in the world today which in many people’s opinions, needs more magic
December 9, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Mark
Amen.
Mark
Aurora, CO
December 11, 2008 at 6:33 am
Lee
Hi Mary,
I enjoyed your thoughtful article.
You might be interested in a review I wrote several years ago of one of those expensive cold-reading manuals you mention:
http://www.tarotpassages.com/coldreading.htm
– Lee
December 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm
mkg
Lee –
Excellent book review and article. I see we came to similar conclusions.
December 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
Tarotsmith
As luck would have it I have been getting emails from a ‘tarot reader’ using some of the key phrases you mention, ha!
A dark mirror is the perfect description.
Marie
December 22, 2008 at 9:26 am
The Tarot Connection » Blog Archive » Episode 93: Cold Readings with Mary Greer
[…] Read the Rest of the Post […]
January 7, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Starweaver
Mary,
Thanks for this wonderful pair of articles addressing what can be a pretty uncomfortable subject for tarot practitioners. I started reading tarot among my circle of friends, people who shared most of my basic assumptions about what a reading is and is not. As I started reading for strangers at metaphysical fairs and the like, I would more frequently run up against people who were expecting more of a mentalist thing from me – either skeptics ready for me to say something that wasn’t true (and naturally withholding information about their situation), or people who wanted fatalist, psychic-style proclamations from an authority figure, rather than interacting with the cards. So this is a part of our world, and looking at it head-on, I think, will help us all better understand what role we choose to assume and how to interact with people who have very different expectations of us.
In my younger days, I was part of the skeptical community. I think most are people who are frightened of seeming gullible, or of being taken advantage of. It’s a good impulse to want to protect people from fraud, or even from the consequences of confused thinking. A true skeptic does this on a case-by-case basis, recognizing that their role is to help people make more completely informed choices. For the pseudo-skeptic, though, the fear of gullibility takes form as a battle of worldviews. For them, working case-by-case isn’t good enough; they feel called to eradicate all belief systems and all aspects of human nature that might ever be hijacked for fraudulent purposes. Thing is, that leaves nothing left.
Tom
January 18, 2009 at 1:12 pm
mkg
Starweaver – I appreciate your comments about the pseudo-skeptic. Personally I’m a bit of a skeptic myself and have found that my assumptions about things need to be questioned and researched over and over again as new information comes to light. The important thing is, as you’ve mentioned, that we have the opportunity to make fully informed choices. As tarot readers, having huge blind-spots, doesn’t really help the profession. Being able to communicate clearly with both skeptics and “true believers” about what we actually do seems to me, to be an ideal path.
June 26, 2009 at 7:32 pm
courtney
I think this article falsely divides readers into scam artists and true readers. It also, unfairly, assumes that cold readers are unethical and only out for a buck.
This is not true. Many cold readers are legitimate readers who use cold reading techniques to make there readings far more accurate and enjoyable. This may not be ethically acceptable to some readers, but it doesn’t follow that cold readers automatically don’t have ethics and are only out for a buck. Most full time cold readers have strong ethical opinions about encouraging clients, inspiring them and offering insights into there own lives. This can be done through a combination of legit reading, cold reading and psychological counseling techinque (esp. Rogers non-directive technique). Again you may not agree with their ethics, but because they are different doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
P.S. I don’t think many readers could be successful if they really thought of their clients as suckers. A professional cold reader, like a “legit” reader, likes people and genuinely wants to help.
June 26, 2009 at 7:55 pm
mkg
Courtney – I think we agree more than we disagree. I tried to point out that many cold reading techniques are normal modes of communication. However, I also want to make people aware that there are training manuals that teach cold reading techniques for the stated purpose of being a “fake psychic” or tarot reader. They encourage making money by taking advantage of people’s gullibility. I have now read several of these books. However, that doesn’t make all the techniques unethical – as I tried to point out at the end of the article. (Did you read it all the way through?)
November 7, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Thomas Spencer
Both of your articles on this subject are excellent! I would like to include links to them from my own blog, http://elementalcards.blogspot.com
With regard to card readings of any sort, I would consider that the ultimate test is the usefulness of the reading to the inquirer. If it does not open new ideas and possibilities to the querent, then it is pretty pointless, whatever way the reading was made. Finding out about a person beforehand or skilfully using “cold” reading techniques may allow the practitioner to look impressive intitially, but it is difficult for me to imagine how anything particularly useful can come from this. It seems to me to negate what I would think of as the purpose of the reading, to give new insights into a situation! I have used a number of systems successfully over the years – including the “I Ching” and the Tarot, as well as my own set of cards – for just that purpose.
June 2, 2013 at 12:38 am
Stefan Alexxis
An excellent summary in most respects. Mentalists and psychic entertainers are a very diverse lot, though, with a wide range of opinions about the reality and, more important, the usefulness of the tarot and other oracles. I think that if you take a wider look at Craig Browning’s writings, though (especially his various exhortations to readers of all sorts) you’ll find him to be exceptionally ethical. While he takes a showman’s approach to defining himself, he has the very highest standards for how a reading is actually conducted and the primacy of the client’s well-being. And if your not familiar with the writings of Enrique Enriquez, I recommend them highly.
July 6, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Mary K. Greer
Thanks, Stefan. I love the work of Enrique Enriquez. I’ve come to appreciate the intersection where mentalism and Tarot can co-exist without it being a con. However, in my 40+ years doing Tarot I’ve seen and taken part in far too many things that go beyond any rational explanation.
April 27, 2017 at 7:01 am
Madeira Darling
I’m a skeptic, but I’m also an authentic reader who wants to help my clients and I find that by using these techniques I’m often more able to help them because they take good solid sound advice more seriously than if I just told them I’d guessed it (and I do give dang good solid sound, common sense, motherly advice if I do say so myself). Also tarot cards are a wonderful tool for a sort of psychological analysis, a sort of Rorschach test you and the client can work out together, you can really see where someone’s at interpreting the cards. I care very deeply about the well-being of my clients and interpret cards with an eye to their situation and needs, and I won’t read on matters of health, legal issues or contact recently deceased loved ones as I believe it’s unethical.
Of course, I do also want to make money doing what I love, but what I love is helping others, I just think I do it with good old fashioned common sense, a little psychological know how and an empathetic ear instead of magic. They come to me for sound advice and help and for someone to talk to, and I do my darndest to make sure they leave feeling better and equipped to handle whatever life throws at them. I’d probably just be a therapist, but frankly, I have a weakness for the props and looking a bit gothy is a help rather than a hindrance being a tarot reader rather than a therapist, so really it’s sort of a nice fit to me.
I also think that aesthetics, and atmosphere and what not can have a profound effect on psychological states, which is why for example using crystals makes perfect sense to me, if holding a pretty rock makes you feel better (and feeling better is a real and important thing) you hold onto that pretty dang rock, y’ know what I mean?
Magical ritual has a profound effect on psychological state and like I feel like we often underestimate just how much psychological state can do for a person.
So I think I might be a fourth thing, heh.
April 27, 2017 at 7:05 am
Madeira Darling
Additionally, to me at least, cold reading and all of that is a kind of magic in and of itself, and it can be used for good or ill. You can build a rapport with someone, get them to open up to you, and help them a lot more efficiently than you could without it.
Of course I could also just actually be a psychic and refuse to acknowledge it (as a friend of mine who is a very respected psychic says) but I don’t like the idea of letting myself believe I have magical powers as I fear it’d make me more sure of myself than I like being.
April 28, 2017 at 12:37 pm
mkg
Madeira,
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I agree with most of what you have to say. I think a comparison of cold reading techniques with therapy or “coaching” would reveal quite a few similarities. The problem with knowingly employing cold reading techniques as your primary mode of Tarot reading is that you are lying, by implication, to your client, unless you make perfectly clear what your method involves. That’s not a great way of doing business with anyone and opens you to claims of fraud. The statement that Tarot reading is for “entertainment purposes only,” however, does imply that some kind of make-believe is agreed upon. This is, of course, merely my opinion and not meant to constitute a legal opinion. Many readers make absolutely clear to querents that they are not psychic and that they don’t do prediction. Some prefer to describe themselves as “coaches.” There are many ways to be upfront with your clients.
mkg