“What does he (or she) think (or feel) about me?” In the whole field of card divination this is one of the most asked questions online and one of my least favorite. In my experience people are a hotbed of conflicting thoughts and feelings that change from moment to moment and circumstance to circumstance. To say nothing of one’s head and heart giving us different messages! You think of your sweetie with longing as you anticipate going out with him that evening, then he calls to say he’ll be watching a game with his buddies instead. Suddenly you think he’s a scumbag and plan how you won’t be available when he wants some. Meanwhile, you’re facing an evening at home alone. Or, “he hasn’t called in a week—not since . . .” Or, “I want to ask her out, but am unsure if she sees me as anything other than an annoying co-worker.”
An old booklet from the 1890s might have just the spread for you. Taken from the Livre du Destin or Book of Destiny card deck printed by Grimaud in Paris, this simple layout may be exactly what you need. Furthermore, it may have been an inspiration for the core of the original Celtic Cross spread. I’ve included some clarifying remarks in brackets.
Livre du Destin (Chartier-Marteau & Boudin/Grimaud), 1890.
“How To Read Somebody’s Thoughts”
“After shuffling and cutting the cards, ask the person to choose any five of them, and lay them down as follows:
“The first is laid across the blank one, which represents the person whose thoughts you are reading.” [Choose a Significator for that person. Next, fan the shuffled deck, and have the querent choose a card which you lay across the Significator.] “This shows what his heart is feeling.”
“A second one is laid at the top, and shows his thoughts.”
[These first two cards—following the Significator—depict what is consciously going on in the person’s heart and head.]
“Another is placed at the bottom, and represents what he tramples under foot.” [This is “beneath him”—the more unconscious feelings or thoughts that he (or she) is squelching or ignoring.]
“On the left is what he is fond of and on the right what he cares nothing for.” [That is, what he likes and dislikes in the querent. Or, possibly, a person he likes and a person he dislikes?]
Try this with your favorite divination deck and let us know, in the comments, how it works for you.
Mary K. Greer has made tarot her life work. Check here for reports of goings-on in the world of tarot and cartomancy, articles on the history and practice of tarot, and materials on other cartomancy decks. Sorry, I no longer write reviews. Contact me
Mary K. Greer's Tarot Blog 
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September 25, 2016 at 6:48 pm
Celeste
Great spread!
September 25, 2016 at 7:33 pm
Carolyn Ayres
Hi Mary, I was curious about what you think about using this spread with a client as I usually say I cannot read someone unless I have their permission. What I usually am willing to do is read the relationship. One card for the querant and how they are affected by the relationship with their partner/lover and one card for the partner/lover and how they are affected by the relationship with the querant and in the middle, a card for the relationship at this time. I often add a card at the top for where the relationship wants to go. There is usually lots of information there without delving into someone’s psyche.
But I will definitely try this with my lover. I know he doesn’t mind me delving into his psyche. (-:
I always look forward to your blog. Thanks for all you do for the world of Tarot.
Carolyn Ayres
On Sun, Sep 25, 2016 at 4:51 PM, Mary K. Greer’s Tarot Blog wrote:
> mkg posted: “”What does he (or she) think (or feel) about me?” In the > whole field of card divination this is one of the most asked questions > online and one of my least favorite. In my experience people are a hotbed > of conflicting thoughts and feelings that change from” >
September 26, 2016 at 1:48 pm
mkg
Carolyn,
Usually if a querent asks a relationship question I try to focus the querent on what he or she most needs to look at in the situation and what they can do. On occasion, I do a basic relationship spread similar to yours. It can be very insightful to look at the relationship itself as an entity. I also have a more complex spread (see Tarot for Your Self) that I use for couples who are willing to examine their relationship dynamics together. It’s a spread that also works great for friends, business partners and family members.
However, as I mentioned on FB, most people have some idea what is going on with others, even if they haven’t admitted it to themselves or don’t trust their insights. I believe that spreads like this are more about reflecting and bringing to light a person’s own intuition. Or, as one person noted, it may be about uncovering a perspective that they hadn’t even considered before, opening up to new possibilities.
I will use this spread sparingly, not as an absolute, but as potentials to consider. And, ideally done along with the other person present and taking part in the reading. Using this spread with both people, as a way to explore the feelings of each with greater depth, could be very enlightening.
Mary
September 26, 2016 at 2:01 pm
mkg
Celeste,
Thank you. I was thrilled to find it in the booklet that comes with the Livre du Destin (Book of Fate or Destiny).
Mary
September 29, 2016 at 8:33 am
Sheila Kemp
Thank you Mary,
I will practice this spread on my husband, and he can give me feed back on how I am reading it, Sheila
October 1, 2016 at 6:51 am
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[…] What does he feel about me? Mary K. Greer has a spread for that. […]
October 4, 2016 at 10:01 am
petronellagalatea
Reblogged this on Mon Rayon de Soleil and commented:
This is really nice. I like this. Look at the cards! And from what I could see, it works.
October 15, 2016 at 9:25 am
honoyoku
Thanks for your sharing. It’s a powerful spread and reveal lots of messages.(*^ ^) I have posted my reading https://honoyoku.wordpress.com/2016/10/16/what-does-my-father-think-about-me/
October 15, 2016 at 4:31 pm
mkg
honoyoku,
I admire your willingness to deal with a reading that could not have been easy. Without knowing your situation I couldn’t say why you got the Devil for his thoughts about you. Could it possibly have to do with guilt he feels over not having been the best or perfect father, especially with the 3 of Cups below. Just a quick idea.
Mary
January 6, 2017 at 1:11 pm
Ray
Very inspiring and interesting post !
Greetings from France,
here Tarot of Marseilles was born and developped.
January 31, 2017 at 9:54 am
Marie collins
Thank you for this post. Lovely deck.
February 20, 2017 at 8:08 pm
Andrexplicamelo
Dear Mary:
I’m only just beginning to use the tarot and I found your blog. I read many interesting entries, until I got to this one, that caught my attention. It just so happens that I’ve looking for a spread that will help me know a little more about someone whose feelings for me I can’t seem to understand. This spread seems like just what I’ve looking for, but I have a few questions. I’d be most grateful if you could lend a bit of help. How do I pick the significator, for instance? Who should it represent? The person whose thoughts I’m trying to read? And if so, where am I represented on the spread? If I do this for a third person, how should I help them find their significator? Thanks!
February 24, 2017 at 4:19 pm
mkg
Andrexplicamelo, if you are using the spread above then, as described, you pick a card to represent “the person whose thoughts you are reading.” A significator card in the Tarot can be any card but is usually a King (male) or Queen (female) who appears most like the person whose thoughts you are reading (if a young person – teens or early 20’s you could choose a Knight). If you wish you can use the person’s sun sign to determine the suit: Wands-Fire signs; Cups-Water; Swords-Air; Pentacles/Coins-Earth. Some people use hair color (look at the cards themselves to determine), but I don’t.
State your question aloud, or better yet, write it down and make sure you clarify that it regards this person’s thoughts about you. ALL the cards will then represent their thoughts about you (or the person for whom you are doing the reading). If you are using an old fashioned oracle deck there is often a card for a male person and one for a female person.
Mary
May 16, 2017 at 1:44 pm
E
Hi Mary, thank you for the spread! I’m wondering if you or anyone else could help me interpreting Judgement-reversed. I got that card in the ‘what he likes about me’ position. I seem to only find negative meanings for that card in reversed. Thank you 🙂
May 16, 2017 at 2:49 pm
mkg
E –
The meaning of a card really depends on the question asked, the card position, the other cards in the spread, intuition-in-the-moment, and so much more. My book _The Complete Book of Tarot Reversals_ has more than a page on possible meanings for Judgment reversed. It can indicate resisting a change or refusing to listen to a call (or something said). OTOH, it can indicate concerns about or work to effect global or mass issues.
May 17, 2017 at 8:02 am
E
Thanks for the reply Mary!
December 25, 2017 at 12:59 pm
sub
This is a very old spread mostly used with playing cards. Now, the positions left and right depends on what side faces the significator cards. Some decks use a significator facing the left side and that would be what he/ she likes, desires or carries on his/ hers arms ( the old expression for fortune cards reading).
March 12, 2018 at 3:07 pm
mkg
Sub,
Thank you for your suggestions and favoring us with your experience of this spread.
Mary
March 17, 2018 at 2:28 am
honoyoku
I tried to search cards’ images of this deck and found that it’s composed of many person cards (man, lady, widow, merchant, etc). Do you think it has any relationship with the Kipper deck, which has similar character?
March 21, 2018 at 10:36 am
mkg
honoyoku,
There are lots of 19th century decks with variations on a theme. Some focus on love and marriage. Some on possible marriage partners. Others seem to lean more toward professions and money. I have no idea what inspired the more modern Kipper deck, which I don’t work with myself. But it would be interesting to research what images are most like those of other decks.
Mary
July 16, 2019 at 5:50 pm
Andrexplicamelo
Dear Mary:
I have tried this spread a couple of times and though it seems easy to use, I’ve had a hard time interpreting the cards as they relate to “me”. For instance, I once got the Eight of Swords in the position of “what she/he likes about me” and The Fool in the position of “what he/she tramples under foot”. I really can’t seem to find a sensible interpretation for cards like those as feelings relating to me.
Thanks!
July 17, 2019 at 10:52 am
Mary K. Greer
Andre . . .
Good questions. I’m not going to try to interpret these cards for you. You really have to play around with possibilities until something rinks true. I suggest, for the 8 of Swords, that you take that physical position and imagine yourself there. Now imagine your girl friend admiring you. What are you doing? Are you actually pretty comfortable there? Do you, perhaps, welcome difficult problems to solve? There’s lots of possibilities that you can only discover by putting yourself there. Regarding the Fool there are even more possibilities from unnecessary risk-taking to acting silly and so many more.
February 25, 2023 at 3:44 am
Jenny B
Hello Mary! Thanks for the spread. I’m confused… my results is 1) Seven pentacles, 2) Ace wands, 3) Five pentacles, 4) Three swords and 5) Six swords.
The position 4 is that confuses me most. I think he really hates me!
February 27, 2023 at 6:24 pm
Mary K. Greer
I’m not going to try to interpret this card for you. The spread is an antique one, designed for divination cards rather than tarot. I presented it for research and historical interest.
February 27, 2023 at 6:28 pm
Mary K. Greer
Jenny B,
I’m not going to try to interpret this card for you. This is an historical spread for research purposes.
Mary